Havoc In My Head
Chaos In My Heart
The new routine is invigorating.
Physical
Mental
Practical
Purposeful
Great day!
Mind abuzz!!!
Jostling!Jittering!Jerking!Jamming!
with crowded cogitation⇊!
somanycomplexities!
inspiringexcitinginviting!
‿︵‿︵all++Connecting++!⌁
withpassionateimplications!
sending fingers flying across my keyboard! tryingtoKeepup!Catchup!Fillup gaps with
all
the besztuz
idEAz҉
҉ ҉☆_ ⌁⌁
---
---↯-༽༼༽
non
negativexistence
canceling
V O I D
......in a bitter pool of cold sweat
under a mountain of soaked blankets.
Beyond freezing,
in a panic,
desperate to escape the torture of
the enfeebling chills!
"Oh my God! OHMYGOD!!! SO COLD!!!"
"SO COLD!!!"
The mattress, my clothes, my blankets– all soaked with perspiration.
Body totally DRENCHED!
҉-҉↯҉-҉~҉-҉~¡¡¡SO COLD!!‼!~҉-҉-҉~
"COLDCOLDCOLDSOCOLDSOCOLD!"
After an eternity of unbearable
COLD,
the Man in the Next Room
comes to help,
covering the bed
with a dry comforter
while I strip off my wet
FREEZING
clothes.
Nude, I curl up in a fetal position, whimpering, shivering, shaking, quivering, quaking
as he covers me with a dry blanket
leaving me alone to fend off the
COLD C o ld
c ҉-҉↯҉-҉~z҉︵‿-҉zz
﹏﹏ ﹏﹏ ﹏﹏
This is n o t
s︵‿ l︵‿ e︵‿ e︵‿ p
༼ ༽Sleep ༽Begats༼ Dreams༼ ༽
༽༼ ༽༼ ༽ ༼ ༽‿︵‿︵﹏﹏
Awareness again
without meaning.
No memory.
No motivation.
No desire.
No﹏﹏
No feasible・。..˚~~ brainwaves ҉
The blank↠nothing↠VOID
demands surrender
Or maybe It just ﹏suggests?
It claims me either way.
Re?construction of thought
‿︵‿︵﹏﹏unwanted!!!
Can I please remain where it's vacuous?
please!
O_O༼༼༽༼༽ _____ ~?
I have to pee.
I lay feeling the need, ignoring it, not moving, not motivated, not
not not
The need is URGENT
not not no no no no no
<sigh>
Getting out of bed, stumbling, nearly falling,
unknowing, no higher awareness–
only alive to go void my bladder and then return to the
V
o
i
d
↯҉-҉~﹏ ~҉ ↯҉-҉~z҉҉
｡･ﾟﾟ･ ･ﾟﾟ･｡S l o w｡･ﾟﾟ･ ･ﾟﾟ･｡ awarenesssssssssss
A world again.
A bed.
A body.
Sooooo groggy.
Recollections of getting up multiple times to urinate,
the COLD,
knowing I wasn't there–
Was I anywhere?
Was my soul emptied?
Dreamlessness restored nothing.
Energy diminished.
Heart disengaged.
.........҉ ....⌁.sooooo tired..........҉ .
Then the merry murderous migraine
in my misaligned mind
recklessly recaps the reasons
for the missing everything...
"I'm happy to retort
that while you were in-between
⚡These👇
were the areas of your brain disjointed
{over⌁jolting⌁}
for your entertainment!!!
"The HIPPOCAMPUS!–-Fun and ____ for memory formation & retrieval!"
"WERNICKES'S AREA–-Your ___ coordinator for language comprehension!"
"The AMYGDALA-–The undisputed ___ at emotional processing!!!"
"Plus, some ___ auditory & visual association areas as an added bonus!!"
I'm too ___ to ｡･ﾟﾟ･ ･ﾟﾟ･?
Is this existence?
W
h
y
?
The man from the next room comes in,
after I finally turn on my light.
"Do you know what happened?"
{Not without uncertainty}, I answer, "I had a seizure."
"Two of them."
"TWO?!?!?" ⌁
{⌁My first seizures in over a year...⌁}
Depression crashes.
Unconsciousness calls out.
isn't Sleep second cousin to
the
VOID?
Google doesn't give the experience the glory it doesn't deserves....!!
"Bilateral temporal lobe dysfunction refers to impaired function of both left and right temporal lobes, which are critical for memory, language comprehension, emotion processing, and sensory integration".
Hallelujah!
All that energized
Before↴ (being Thunderstruck)
⇊
The invigorating routine
the purposeful, physical, mental (writing!!!)
exercises....
Don't care anymore.
The convictions, concepts,
connections,
the chance to chase conjectures+conundrums+chimeras
until they coalesce with inconceivable comprehension
-Erased-༼ ༽༼ The Ideas&Inspiration&Impetus✭⌁.✫ ༽
fragmented⇝unraveled⌁⌁҉
fading｡･ﾟﾟ･ ･ﾟﾟ･｡
৻‿︵‿︵ lost҉↯
⋌⋡⪱¡⨉⨉GONE⨉⨉-.-...｡･ﾟﾟ･
-҉｡･ﾟﾟ･･ﾟﾟ -҉~
The End
↯҉-҉~﹏ ~҉↯҉
Join me in my asylum.
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About the Creator
Lightning Bolt ⚡
Bolt ⚡ aka Bill↬bizarre bisexual bipolar alliterative epileptic sexy ♒Aquarian retired superhero. Author of humor, poetry, sci fi & horror.
✔️ A Taco Bell, A Shakespearian Robot, A Slut, Prophets, A Bed, A Dreamer, & A Historic Mismatch.
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