Hail Fellow, Have A Marshmallow?

Hello and welcome back!

Now, this is not one of those pieces I had planned on writing (I did have other pieces that were much more interesting and...sensible to finish), but you know what they say about how you make g*d laugh... You tell him your plans...

Plans... Yes...

My plan was to finish a review and then take the rest of the day off after teaching online. But such is the lot of a Vocalist that your words will often provoke people to make a misguided effort to grab your attention.

Donna Renee, in keep with her strange tastes in food, has challenged my challenge against her beloved beets (''Zombie Dumps''? how appetizing). I felt that this was very odd, considering she even stole my joke (Dr. Dre much?) and needed all 26 letters of the alphabet to respond to me with something called an ''Abecedarian rebuttal''(I'm...touched?).

Well, I have limited my response to one challenging poem and one not so difficult one (a villanelle - no ''Killing Eve'' reference here - and a haiku)...and maybe something else?

Anyway, enjoy...and eat right.

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Beet Poetry

Some people worship the ugly beet.

Sense-deprived, they enjoy the taste bud's foe...

Others despise that awful...'treat'.

*

There are many who try to eat

what lies on their plate (they would prefer tallow).

Some people worship the ugly beet.

*

Wiser ones shift in their seat,

feeling their senses burn...without a drop of aloe.

Others despise that awful 'treat'.

*

It can be quite a feat,

getting up without being an asshole...

Some people worship the ugly beet.

*

Until...you realize this is a cheat;

More of a tongue polka, not a mouthful of JLO.

Others despise that awful treat.

*

And my Donna...and dear Paul (I won't admit defeat;

Try to camp out without that soft and white...well, you know)...

Some people worship the ugly beet.

Others despise that awful treat.

*

Well, that was fun...and I'm not done (hey, is that a poem?).

Anyway, one more haiku...

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Camping Out

Marshmallows and smores...

...and beets? Over a fire?

Who wins, huh? Really?

I understand that there are many of you out there with different tastes (both right and wrong), but you must understand that if you do hate marshmallows, you are dumping on one of the great traditions of North American life. Perhaps you would be happier in a country that has no marshmallows on sticks, in your hot chocolate, between graham crackers, or anywhere where freedom reigns...

Is that what you want...COMRADE?

With deepest respect,

KD

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Thank you for reading!

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You can find more poems, stories, and articles by Kendall Defoe on my Vocal profile. I complain, argue, provoke and create...just like everybody else.

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