Grieve Me Not

I have known pain.

It seeps in when I least expect it.

My mind battles the demons of doubt.

The feelings of rejection.

The stain of not yet.

The blows keep coming.

I bob and I weave against the emotional assault.

My guards fell like torrential rain.

It feels like a curse.

The prophets call it a gift.

My heart feels the shift.

So strong and mighty.

A true gift from the Almighty.

Why are you the one is not the question.

What card caused this fate.

I stand in the affirmative ready to debate.

We started with fourteen.

This was not what it meant to be lean.

Flooded you with poison meant to heal.

It sure feels like you’ve been handed a raw deal.

I remember the call like it was yesterday.

I wish it would go away.

Hair is no longer long.

You have been so strong.

This all seems so wrong.

My heartaches for what’s to come.

I feel like I am about to become undone.

This disease steals the soul.

From both the young and old.

Your humor remains.

Even as your strength wanes.

I cherish our moments together.

At stage 4 you're resigned to not getting better.

This one cuts like no other.

I walked in to see the Holy Spirit shield and cover.

How do I console my mother?

I feel her pain with each passing day.

Knowing we cannot wish it away.

A cancer indeed.

No more daily text messages to read.

My soul has started to bleed.

Tears of sorrow.

Praying that the day is not tomorrow.

My favorite aunt is strong and caring.

The disease is progressing.

No more aunts and uncles exist.

The tears I cannot resist.

You’re tired you say.

I pray not today.

I know I will survive.

But I pray and confess I want you alive.

Would cancer take a bribe?

What miracle cure can we prescribe?

Wistful thinking, I know.

But, as God is my witness, I don’t want you to go.

This is my way of accepting the truth to come.

For I know, I am about to come undone.

I kissed your cheek.

As everyone appears so bleak.

The comforter left.

My heart is bereft.

Just a thinking of you,

Now it makes me blue.

I didn’t mean to cry a river.

But I cannot help but shiver

The tears are now dry.

My heart is still not ready for goodbye.

Kiss granny.

Hug papa.

Sit with my aunties.

Play with my uncles.

Laugh with dad.

Because in my mind no one is dead.

Maybe that’s why I am seeing red.

This could have been a dream instead.

Or just another vision in my head.

I hope that’s what the whispers said.

Instead of this growing feeling of dread.

But no, the cancer has spread.

My emotions are now holding on by a thread.

My message to you has been read.

You will not go gently into that good night.

For you will give it one hell of a fight.

Never once becoming contrite.

I watched my angel take flight.

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