I have known pain.
It seeps in when I least expect it.
My mind battles the demons of doubt.
The feelings of rejection.
The stain of not yet.
The blows keep coming.
I bob and I weave against the emotional assault.
My guards fell like torrential rain.
It feels like a curse.
The prophets call it a gift.
My heart feels the shift.
So strong and mighty.
A true gift from the Almighty.
Why are you the one is not the question.
What card caused this fate.
I stand in the affirmative ready to debate.
We started with fourteen.
This was not what it meant to be lean.
Flooded you with poison meant to heal.
It sure feels like you’ve been handed a raw deal.
I remember the call like it was yesterday.
I wish it would go away.
Hair is no longer long.
You have been so strong.
This all seems so wrong.
My heartaches for what’s to come.
I feel like I am about to become undone.
This disease steals the soul.
From both the young and old.
Your humor remains.
Even as your strength wanes.
I cherish our moments together.
At stage 4 you're resigned to not getting better.
This one cuts like no other.
I walked in to see the Holy Spirit shield and cover.
How do I console my mother?
I feel her pain with each passing day.
Knowing we cannot wish it away.
A cancer indeed.
No more daily text messages to read.
My soul has started to bleed.
Tears of sorrow.
Praying that the day is not tomorrow.
My favorite aunt is strong and caring.
The disease is progressing.
No more aunts and uncles exist.
The tears I cannot resist.
You’re tired you say.
I pray not today.
I know I will survive.
But I pray and confess I want you alive.
Would cancer take a bribe?
What miracle cure can we prescribe?
Wistful thinking, I know.
But, as God is my witness, I don’t want you to go.
This is my way of accepting the truth to come.
For I know, I am about to come undone.
I kissed your cheek.
As everyone appears so bleak.
The comforter left.
My heart is bereft.
Just a thinking of you,
Now it makes me blue.
I didn’t mean to cry a river.
But I cannot help but shiver
The tears are now dry.
My heart is still not ready for goodbye.
Kiss granny.
Hug papa.
Sit with my aunties.
Play with my uncles.
Laugh with dad.
Because in my mind no one is dead.
Maybe that’s why I am seeing red.
This could have been a dream instead.
Or just another vision in my head.
I hope that’s what the whispers said.
Instead of this growing feeling of dread.
But no, the cancer has spread.
My emotions are now holding on by a thread.
My message to you has been read.
You will not go gently into that good night.
For you will give it one hell of a fight.
Never once becoming contrite.
I watched my angel take flight.
______________________________________________
Thanks for reading and joining me in another poem on the human condition. If it stirred your emotions 🎤, please drop a comment 💬. If you like the vibe, drop a heart 💗 and subscribe 💌.
About the Creator
EYHCS
Poet by birth. Writer by craft. Artist by nature. I write poems, prose, short stories, fiction, and realism works of art dissecting the human condition and the resilience of the human mind. Many of my pieces are metaphoric stanzas.
Reader insights
Outstanding
Excellent work. Looking forward to reading more!
Top insight
Heartfelt and relatable
The story invoked strong personal emotions
Comments (11)
Thank you for sharing your feelings and experiences with us, reminding us to embrace every moment and cherish our relationships.
This was so surreal. It grabbed me by the eyes and heart and wouldn't let go. There was also a touch of a Maya Angelou vibe that came thru. So sorry for the loss(es). Great poem. So glad you were able to get it out and share! 💖
'e' ~ I "Cherish" the special way you give-heart - this so relatedly moved me; you are such an inspiration. Just this morning @ the Jewish High Holiday Services we said 'hello' to our lost but never forgotten. 'j'
This is a Fantastic Piece ❤️👌📝Deserving a Top Story Badge 🔰 ❤️
WOW This piece was amazing! Heartfelt, astute, somber, & so so relatable. I'm so sorry 4 your loss/losses. I wish we could bypass this part of the human journey! Beautiful work Nichelle! BRAVO!
Life is so fleeting. Cherish it while it still resides by our side. Wrap your love around your loved ones and squeeze tight. No one knows the time or the hour it is said. Is it blasphemy to wonder why the criminals are healthy and continue to wreak havoc, while those kind and good souls are taken away. We may never understand, but we have to accept and do the best we can. The best of hugs and love to you, my friend.
I can relate too well to everything you wrote. Being the 24/7 caregiver of my very sick mom I am currently feeling or have felt everything you wrote about. The one I relate to the most is that I do not want her to go.
This also made me emotional. I lost my grandma to cancer...both of my grandmas. I wish cancer would take a bribe (that was a great line in your poem)
Gosh this made me so emotional. I'm so sorry if you lost someone to cancer 🥺❤️
So very raw in the description of pain, of loss and of the fear of loss. I am so sorry for all you are going through. Many hearts, hugs and prayers ❤️
I'm in tears, So beautifully written but so human and tragic. i am at a loss. I can't think of anything to say other than I've heard you and I am so very sorry 🤍