Ghost Girl

When I think of you

I think of a ghost

the ghost of who I thought you were

the ghost that haunts my thoughts and dreams and memories

I can't get you out of my head

You've infected the edges of my heart

But slowly and surely,

your grip is fading.

Love didn't make me blind,

but it made me forgiving.

where understanding once was

now is tainted with resentment

You keep falling further and further

ever since you let go of my and

and took his

I get glimpses of hatred in you that I had never noticed

But I know your jealousy was bred from insecurity and lack of perspective

I'm tired of being your punching bag.

With every hit,

I get knocked further back from you

I don't want to abandon you

but somehow despite your abandonment issues

you stab me in the heart and make me want to just leave.

It was hard enough when your arms were open

and now that they are locked in fists

maybe I should keep my distance.

I don't want this.

How did you go from being almost the center of my existence

to only existing on the edge

the days without talking become more and more frequent

I know you're there if I need it

Life is amazing.

How one day can be so different from the next

and I still find a smile.

a lover can turn into a ghost

and a ghost can turn into a distant friend

feelings are buried

and rise to the surface

weeks after you forgot them.

I can't forget you.