From the First Sight

The Trans-Siberian Express. Moscow to Vladivostok. On a hot August day. We set out, not knowing what lay ahead.

The train's wheels clicked as it moved along, leaving the station. Its laborious progress -- like thick molasses.

I had gotten stuck in my life, and now I was trapped on this train too unsure of anything.

The locomotive whistled at a hair-raising screech as it began to climb up through Moscow's suburbs.

I looked out the window. The silver birches, log cabins, and pine trees bathed in sunlight. The train sped along.

My eyes began to wander around the train car. To my left at the end of the long train corridor, I saw you.

You were leaning against the window, looking up at me with a smile on your face.

I faced back my window, resisting your gaze, fixing my eyes on the wild sunset. I wanted to look back, but I was paralyzed by shyness.

After a few minutes, I summoned the courage and stole a quick glance. You were still looking, with the same warm grin.

Suddenly the train was going too fast --- I had to grab hold of something. My heart was pounding in my chest and I felt like I might faint.

It was as if the train had suddenly become a runaway carriage, careening downhill out of control.

For a few brief seconds, our eyes locked and everything else was gone.

I felt as if I was in a dangerous dream and I wanted to flee but couldn't.

The click-click of the train wheels kept time with the frantic beating of my heart.

Then, suddenly the train dived into a dark tunnel. The click-clack faded into silence like a fog. It was gone. But I was not alone.

In the dark, your eyes glowed with a mysterious light, and after a few minutes of complete darkness, from out the light you came right back and...

I caught your gaze, you smiled again, making my heart soar this time and making me forget that I was a mess.

My recent breakup still hurt like a fresh laceration. And yet...

The click-clack returned as the train emerged from the tunnel into a blinding sunset, washing us in gold and orange, as you approached.

I fumbled, grasping at the window edge, staring outside as the world swished by at breakneck speed.

Was I ready? I still was a fragile bundle of emotions trapped in the webs of anguish. I peeked to my left and saw your eyes up close, like a movie shot.

Dark green. They didn't match anything in my mind and heart, where I had only seen stormy grays until that moment. Your eyes were like an oasis in the desert -- a secret pond surrounded by lush green grass where I now wanted to take off my shoes.

It was the kind of feeling you get when you're on a plane and you know it's about to crash, but somehow you feel so elated that you don't mind.

It was like the feeling of falling -- but with wings. It was like the flurry of snow that falls on New Year's Eve and looks like a blessing.

Like a blue butterfly in July. Like a knife that's been broken -- bent back into shape, and sharpened to a fine edge.

It was like exploring the hidden trails out of the beaten paths; like finding the secret of youth -- that place where your sorrows fall asleep and you're reborn.

I was balancing right on the edge of it until it all came rushing over me in a wave of pure delight.

I was a cup of water being poured from one vessel into another, going from shattering in a million fragments to the whole that formed a wave -- an arc completed.

Your stare was a direct source of heat; the flames hugged me like a blanket that kept me cozy.

You became my body's instinct that I had never known before -- its wisdom, its faith, its strength.

I couldn't help but smile back at your smile. I breathed quietly with you when you took a breath. My heart slowed down to match your heartbeat.

Suddenly, I couldn't remember my life before this. All I knew was that my heart stopped for a moment, and then it began to race ahead until we were both in sync -- breathing in and out like one living creature.

Then, I knew that no matter what, we'd reach our destination and disembark at the same station and hand in hand.

And that was it. Love at first sight as they say. The knee-buckling, butterflies in the stomach, can't-eat, can't-sleep kind of love.

It's inexplicable. It's like a force of nature you can't control, and you don't even know what it is. But when it happens, you know.

. . .

© by Irina Patterson, February 23, 2022

*Image credits Pixabay here and here.

Thank you for reading, my other stories are here.

Love, Irina