Forgiveness

Forgiveness is freedom

Long ago I forgave him and me

To allow for myself to be free from misery

For all the things we did wrong

by projecting our past pain into a new relationship

*

He said he had forgiven himself and me

I can understand how he has forgiven

the one who sacrificed their ego

and admitted their wrong doings

The one who apologized and took full responsibility

The one who looked at their mistakes

and made efforts to change their ways

for the sake of being a better human being

The one who compromised being right

for the sake of growth and foraging peace

*

I have trouble understanding

how someone can fully forgive themselves

when they are still unaware of all the things they did

that once caused me pain

When they avoided

taking full responsibility for their mistakes

and felt more comfortable blaming me

When instead of making an effort to change

their egoic ways of relating

they interpreted my vulnerable

expressions of my pain caused by things they did

as a personal attack on them

Being right was more important

to him than growth and learning

*

I forgive him for his ignorance

but I refuse to waste my energy

on someone who is too proud

to wave the flag on the vanguard of the ego

to offer healing to the garden of the spirit

*

If he only recognized we both were wrong

as much as we were both right

in what otherwise was a beautiful connection

we could have both grown stronger from all of it

But he didn’t

and that’s on him