Finding the Cause

Over analyzing it brings about more pain.

What purpose does asking “why” serve?

Questions of this nature rarely bring satisfactory answers.

The damage is done,

pain inflicted upon me.

Questioning the reason it happened will only serve to pain me further.

Yet I still desire the answer to the question “why”.

Can over analysis truly grant me the answers I seek?

A glutton for punishment,

I go down the path of insanity.

Hour after painstaking hour, spent pondering the reasons for my pain.

Shall I continue searching, foregoing the possibility of failure?

Need for answers grows,

as does the longing.

Sleepless nights continue as the brain calculates, every scenario.

Did I deserve the hurt? Was it my fault there was any hurt to begin with? Was it theirs?

Looking too deeply,

the mind begins to ache.

Questioning myself as to “why” it happened is useless.

If I knew, then there’d be no use in questioning.

To question the inflictor of such pain, would grant me answers.

Failing to risk more pain,

self-analysis continues.

Through the constant racing of my mind, I try to find peace.

To no avail, the self-loathing can’t help but riddle my soul.

My heart palpitating as I over analyze the causes of my pain.