Explaining Smart Phones to an Alien

Welcome, friend, to our quaint humble planet!

It’s not much to look at, I know.

But it’s ours, however you scan it,

And has charms, if you just let them grow.

(And surely you’ve seen far worse scenery than it,

As far as the galaxies go.)

*

You’ve probably traveled a few thousand light-years

(Give or take a parsec or three).

I imagine you’ve traversed the cosmos’s bright spheres,

Pursued questions beyond inquiry.

And, though modest may be all the sights here,

They’re not without charm, you’ll agree?

*

Now, you’ve probably noticed something a bit strange here—

—Yes, we have oceans and lakes and woodlands,

Yes, we have dogs and giraffes and reindeer,

None, in a cosmic sense, notably grand.

But I, as a human, should explain here,

Why we all seem to stare at our hands.

*

You seem to have eyes, as I’ve noted

(At least twenty, in fact, by my guess).

And while you don’t seem to have “hands,” those bloated

Tentacles come to the same, more or less.

So may I assume that you’ve toted

Technologies you’ve come to possess?

*

Of course, I do realize you’ve mastered

Machinery far beyond what we’ve achieved.

You’ve built crafts that accelerate faster

Than what humble Earth-folk can conceive.

And sure as you’ve catalogued star systems vaster,

You’ve mapped things smaller than can be perceived.

*

You see, we’ve also delved into quantum mechanics—

Or, come up with some theories at least.

Our greatest minds saw equations and panicked

As they saw classical physics deceased,

And pondered how worlds firm and organic

Began where solidity ceased.

*

But while your race has taken your science

And carried yourselves beyond the stars,

We humans still suffer compliance

With amusements not nearly that far,

And thus, our overreliance

On these devices that keep us where we are.

*

We call this our “phone,” or, perhaps, “mobile.”

It’s really quite useful, you see.

You can talk to your friends, or compile

The world’s information with ease.

You can even take pictures and file

The world away on a video feed.

*

But, I do admit that our smartphones have captured

More attention than would be ideal.

Since, why star gaze when you’re enraptured

By cat videos, reel after reel?

(But really, you must watch this one that purred,

And sounded like a sick donkey’s squeal!)

*

Oh, I’m sorry, I just got distracted.

But, I guess that’s my point—Here on Earth

We gaze at the same stars you’ve contacted,

And tease out the cosmos’s birth.

But while to those stars you’re attracted,

We humans can’t measure up to their worth.

*

So we stare all day at these squares from our pockets

While the universe passes us by.

And as spacefarers like you build your rockets

And explore worlds across alien skies,

We’re content just to keep our eye sockets

Trained on our phone screens, and sigh!