Ever truly present

And I must remember that words have power,

And those first words are like a step,

And a step can move us in any direction.

I know this motion.

I have learned that looking back is not a traveler's friend.

However, timelines are telling, are you ever truly present?

What do you hide with your smile?

Sometimes I am deliberate,

Sometimes I ignore the facts right in front of me.

Today - an old woman asked me to tell her about my past relationship.

Relationships I turn words over and over again in my mind.

I provide her with a chronological list.

Only blaming myself.

But I have paid enough for “love”

And if it exists in a person,

I believe it’s time it finds me.

But I only have the memory of your eyes.

A familiar glance.

Unsure if I miss you or mourning over,

what I convinced myself,

we could’ve been.

I have a heart tarnished by years of neglect.

But I wanted to ask you -

What it was you saw in me.

Perhaps it’s that starving look in your eyes and the feeling,

I could be a dying man’s last meal.

All of my protective agency retreats.

But there’s still that uncertain day

With just enough glimpse of sunlight

To keep one from abandoning hope.

Despite the rapidly gathering omnious clouds,

Threatening a downpour.

I preserve my remaining emotions

To keep them unchanged

I am afraid any further over-extension

Will leave them permanently deranged.