even if

tears of disbelief well up in my eyes.

grief, my old friend, is back again

on that heavy drive home alone,

and i see you walking in my rearview.

even if i don't say it now,

i wish i did.

even if i don't say i love you now,

i wish i could.

even if i wasn't a better man when i met you,

i wish i am.

i already miss your stupid jokes-

the ones i always yell at you for,

but nobody is yelling anymore,

and you're still here but not for long.

even if i don't say it now,

i wish i did.

even if i don't say i love you now,

i wish i could.

even if i wasn't a better man when i met you,

i wish i am.

here again for some reason

finally ready to hear each other,

if just to exchange one last moment

when we say our goodbyes,

but neither of us knows

if it really is this time.

even if we don't say it now,

i wish we did.

even if we don't say i love you now,

i wish we could.

even if i wasn't a better man when i met you,

i wish we would be.

goodbye: synonymous with january,

and i forget to tell you

when my wings melt and i fall,

while i watch you drown from a raging thirst.

not sure when we'll get it back together,

or how we even could; and,

even if we don't say it now,

i wish we did.

even if we don't say i love you now,

i wish we could.

even if we wasn't a better man when i met you,

i wish we would.