Envy

I look at you

looking at him

and him looking at you

I can’t believe you’ve come this far

Started at nothing

now flourishing into a masterpiece

of love, passion and fire.

You found him at last.

Why him, I wonder?

I watched the endless streams of suitors who came for you

lining up in formation

awaiting your judgement.

You would give each of them a precious piece of your time

Happiness

Soul.

I watched as they hurt you

and you

hurt them.

The same routine was followed

every time: flirt, kiss

and leave.

No hello,

no goodbye.

They didn’t deserve you.

I could never fathom why you gave them such a colossal part of you,

in such a short

space

of time.

How could you hand them a piece of yourself , trusting them to keep it safe?

How could you handle putting yourself back together

sewing the scraps

of yourself that you bequeathed to them,

but got returned in shreds?

Why was it always you and never me?

I am selfish

I prefer to keep myself

in my hands

not some man’s.

That is why I am the one you come to

to carefully stitch your seams

back together.

That is also why

I have never had what you have had

But I wish I did.