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Enchantress of your Emotions

she wasn't worth anything if not to serve you

By Hayley MattoPublished 2 months ago 1 min read
9
Enchantress of your Emotions
Photo by Matthew Kwong on Unsplash

You were my constant. Until you weren't.

Not unlike losing a job suddenly. Except you didn't yield me a paycheck, tax return, severance... for my emotional time and energy. No.

You didn't get rid of me until after promoting me to CEO:

Curator of your mental health- responsible for your moods, stabilizing you when you falter too far one direction.

Emotions, Ego... Erections- Things you could never keep in check, and issuing complaints to me about constantly, despite my pleas for apologies. But woe is me right?

Officiant of your guise, and misguided worries. Anxiety's keeper. Enchantress of your Emotions.

What a plummet it was to fall from your graces. To go from CEO to your mortal foe? Or atleast that's what it felt like. You painted me a villain despite the fact that the role I played for oh near a -decade- was not a hero, but perhaps a Care Giver? Lover? Best Friend? Family?

The answer is D) all of the above.

Funny with the termination of us should have broken our deal, given me a release, but you laughed and laughed noting that I didn't read the fine print in our first relationship binding contract.

The fine print read: I will haunt you until the day you die, even if I go first. The memory of me will live in thee, despite the changes and forms I take. Part of you will always belong to me. In life and in death, no matter which remains true, I will always haunt you. Unless you die first.

Which he had convinced me would be true. That without him, this job, this human to care for- I would have nothing left but me, and she wasn't worth anything if not to serve you.

I think I was one of those people that took a job too seriously. And by the time I woke up from my dream gig, I was already living in a nightmare reality. I tried my hardest, going into overtime each week, Demoted. Remaining assured and optimistic that I could still fulfill the requirements. It wasn't until I felt myself break, that my tries seemed trivial. How was I to repair a man without the required material.

A broken girl, in love yet knowing she was no longer, if ever, enough.

sad poetryslam poetryheartbreakFree Verse
9

About the Creator

Hayley Matto

Just a 26yr old processing the 🌎 one sh*tty poem at a time. Need human connection or just killing time?

Read some thoughts by She.

-P.S. that’s me.

Insta: @thoughts.by.she 🖤 Thanks for tuning in! Much Love.

Shout Out to ViM 🤍 Love 'em.

Reader insights

Outstanding

Excellent work. Looking forward to reading more!

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  1. Heartfelt and relatable

    The story invoked strong personal emotions

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Comments (5)

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  • Kelsey Clarey2 months ago

    This hurt to read in the best way. Very powerful and well-written!

  • This speaks to anyone who lives with the scars of toxic love. So evocative and visceral.

  • Caroline Craven2 months ago

    You expressed this so well. It was painful to read. Wishing you all the very best Hayley. You deserve so much better.

  • Test2 months ago

    Damn, Hayley , this is so powerful and think a story a lot of woman have endured. Glad that you have your talent to at least work through the hurt. You're going to thrive and be all that you want - entirely on your own terms 🤍 Beautifully written though so hearbreaking - the pain people cause asounds me.

  • Test2 months ago

    Awww, Very well written!

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