Empty Words

We make promises, we make mistakes. Sometimes we break promises because sometimes it rains when it’s not supposed to.

I understand, sometimes things are just too hard, you just can’t hold on any longer. I’m not blaming you for letting go, we all break promises.

I just wanted to thank you, you didn’t do things that changed my world, where I’m thanking you for saving me. I’m thanking you for teaching me I’m better than some guy who “wants me.” I get it, You “want me” sexually, you want your dick wet.

The key is, you made me believe I was wanted and worth something, when all I was, was an object. I’m no more than the pocket pussy you keep in your sock drawer. I get it, you are horny, I’m not blaming you for that.

Listen, if all you want is sex and shit, I’m sure a stripper will be a perfect fit. You have three of their numbers on your phone, if sex means that much to you, pay someone to suck you off.

The thing that I don’t get is, why attack me. What if I wasn’t comfortable with you, you have now made me feel like a horrible person. You have now put thoughts in my head that destroy me as I try to fall asleep at night.

When you told me how you were feeling about me, I understood. Listen, just because I can sleep with someone else, doesn’t mean I’m going to be comfortable with everyone, every second.

The key is, you’re a guy. You don’t get slut shamed, you don’t get shamed for asking for it, you don’t get shamed for not wanting to fuck. You get props for fucking the hot blonde chick, you get props for fucking all these girls. You aren’t going to get it.

You never grew up here, you don't get how it is here, you don’t get what it’s like to be a girl. I’m not getting mad that you don’t get it, but don’t attack me with words filled with false information.

Thank you for making me feel like nothing more than an object. Thank you for shaming me because I wouldn’t sleep with you, all because I wasn’t comfortable. Thank you for not wanting me so I was the only one fighting. Thank you for breaking promises. Thank you for filling my mind with empty words. Thank you for teaching me, I’m better off without you.

Thank you for making me feel worthless. Thank you for doing all of this so I’d learn I deserve better. Thank you for messing with my mind. Thank you for not wanting me one hundred percent, now I know I need to let go. You were my father, I had to do all these things to get your attention and I still wasn’t good enough for you. My father never kept our relationship when he went back to his home, and you are now doing the same thing claiming that when you come back, you want me. I don’t want you, I don’t want to feel like shit anymore.

Thank you, from the bottom of my shattered heart, for breaking my heart.

I’m not keeping the “bridge” between us that you always talk about. I’m throwing the match on it, I’m letting it burn. Please when you come back don’t try to rebuild it, I don’t want to cross the river of the tears, I cried for you.