Easier Than Work and Time

I want to spend a summer reading verse

And finding you between the lines

Call you a lover as a curse

And coloring right through the signs

I am paralyzed

I have never bit my tongue so much in life

Vitality isn't anything more to me now than finding

Something to lose my mind

And I cant even tell my "something" what I am

Fuck im really tired

Fuck I’m really tired

Fuck I’m

Please stay

Don’t move

Let me walk away

Slowly

Because I know it isn't real

But I am not ready to feel

You be a man for someone else

The dawn calls me delusional

Sunlight laughs out loud

But dusk has an affirmative silence

Without even a single doubt

Overstay my welcome?

Yes, who am I to find

Something easier

Than work and time?

Who are you to be happy?

And who are you to cry?

I can do both

While keeping my eyes dry

He explains his jokes

As my expression turns inward

Mistakes my mental brush strokes

For confusion

I’ll be tunneled in my head

Until i'm in his bed

Write something good, she said

Please don’t waste it

Because feel something good, I can’t.

Terrified to hold a pen but I swear I can taste it

Is this easier than work and time?

I paint the living room yellow before I go

Fluff the pillows, grab my keys, and walk too slow

I’ve never liked the drive home