gone with the current
locked tight within a rip
my eyes and mouth are filled with ocean
i’m unable to get a grip
unsteady within an eddy
i toss and turn with the tide
submerged saline asphyxiation
a thrilling but final ride
the crash of the waves breaks my back
i’m thrown and flung with the weeds
at the tender mercies of this cool seasonal ebb
there are no wants desires or needs
wantonly welded to the will of the tide
the end is close i am sure
to drift forever forgotten flotsam
or to be dashed on some far jagged shore
my head goes under the swell
the surface is so far away
i hold my breathe until inevitably
everything fades and turns grey
my throat and lungs fill with water
you cannot hear my scream
intensive and stronger, drawn out and longer
worse than any dream
About the Creator
Brenton F
It's just a token of my extreme - Frank Zappa
- - -
I have an eBook, a collection of my favourite pieces
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Outstanding
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Compelling and original writing
Creative use of language & vocab
Easy to read and follow
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Heartfelt and relatable
The story invoked strong personal emotions
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Zero grammar & spelling mistakes
Remembering the rink
If you were there, you’ll never forget it. For decades, Durham Ice Rink was at the heart of the city’s social life. From Friday night ice discos to crowds roaring on the Wasps every Sunday, not to mention a proud history of figure skating and speed skating, the riverside rink was the place to be.
By Andy Potts4 days ago in Art
Comments (10)
I like your flow and imagery. Thanks for your creativity.
Fantastic piece.
Wow, this is so well written. I especially loved the ending
I was hooked before I started reading it and you did not disappoint. Amazing piece!
I love this-- "there are no wants desires or needs,,," --forever free.
My every day. The sweet saline sublimity of surrender to the inevitable. One editorial note: Last line, did you want "then" (sequential) rather than "than" (comparative)?
Brenton - terrific rhythm and rhyme throughout!! 😊
Goddamn, this is so good. You build up to the final few lines in a way that provokes a deep seated surprise in me. I don’t know how that works every time I read one of your poems, but that is what happens. And I will continue to read them. Fantastic.
You beautifully expressed my fear of waves. And not breathing in general. Kind of a funny fear for a sailor.
I often feel that way. Life can be worse than any dream, even any nightmare. You expressed it so well 👏