I feel as though I am drowning in myself.
Like I am losing myself in the waves of racing thoughts,
The tides of emotions,
The sinking ship that is my mental health.
I still feel like sinking my own ship,
Succumbing to the storm inside.
Others I feel the seas so calm,
And I am a sailboat on those days.
Sometimes I am the captain,
Controlling every move.
Others I am a prisoner,
Locked in the brig,
Just along for the ride.
Every day a new adventure,
Every day a new storm.
But I wonder,
Is sailing these stormy waters
Better than drowning?
Letting all the pain wash away with the waves,
Let the creatures that lurk below have me once and for all.
I don't know.
I don't know if I'll ever know.
But for now,
I will swim.