Doing the Diapers

I visited the younger daughter of my old friend. Over the years we’ve stuck together like tar. I had to fly and stay for a few days. The drive was simply too far. During our visit, I noticed that little things were important. They hold what dreams may come true, from a wish made upon night star.

On day two, she pulled a small machine to the kitchen sink, explaining that for 90 minutes, there would be no dishes washed, nor tap water to drink We spent our time visiting, over tea, as she did her laundry. The experience was more than you think.

She hooked the hose to the faucet and arranged the drain. I recalled doing laundry with a machine like this, it was always a pain. But for her, it is a sacred ritual, time well spent. Let me explain.

She turned on the water and started load one of three. The first, for washing the diapers, uses vinegar to get out the smell of pee. The second with soap and hot water, cleans, sterilizes, and rinses out acidity. Any residue must be removed. That’s the purpose of the third. In my day, such effort would have been absurd. But for her, washing and hanging the diapers is her ritual preferred.

The little rectangles, eventually came out, along with the little, snap plastic pants. They were smoothed and hung carefully by the window in the front room, by the plants. She unconsciously hummed a few tunes; I think they were really love chants.

The next day the cleanest, whitest diapers were dry. Each one was like new. She arranged the insides and out. She has an ample supply. For her this ritual is important. I’ve spent some time reflecting why.

She has been taught to be proud and do a well-done job. She cares for what she has, and is not a slob. She has chosen to stay at home, but can’t afford to live like a snob. But mostly, she knows how quickly time flies, and treats no job as paltry. Her new baby, her little one, is a dream come true, for her at age forty. I appreciate how this ritual makes things slow down and can’t find her reasons faulty.

Even for an older mother, there is still so much unknown, but she has come to respect a certain system. By hanging onto the everyday moment, she is trying to listen to ancient wisdom. She works to be intentional. She strives to live each moment fully, as she looks through a beautiful prism.

The visit was sweet. That little, darling baby really is making her life complete. I love looking at plump rolls on the ankles and the ten tiny toes on fat tiny feet. But above all, I love that this ordinary moment, tuned both her and my heartstrings', and made a love song replete.