Discursive

Actualization is my new niche.

Before I could recognize, I was falling deeper;

“Couldn’t they see?” I’d ask myself.

Deeper and deeper I fell into agonizing pain.

Eventually, it just got worse.

Frenzied by my uncontrollable emotions,

Gasping for more air,

Hazing myself over religious texts,

Ignoring myself to seek after help;

Jonesing for stronger drugs,

Kindly ignoring my ambitions,

Losing myself in the process of life;

Monstrosities augmenting itself,

Never again to be repealed,

Overtly, it is no longer hidden;

Personified by my open engagements,

Questioning my own values and beliefs,

Requesting help from those I endear;

“STOP,” I said to myself loudly.

Tucked in coddle position,

Ultimately, I fell to it,

Various vices;

Waiting for change,

Yearning to be understood,

Zeroed in, Im at loss for being misunderstood.