Discomfort

I’ve always been one to seek

Discomfort.

It seems easier

And safer,

More sure,

More certain.

Comfort has always seemed to be

Such a fleeting thing.

Perhaps this is why

I fear to let you in,

Into my heart,

Into my soul,

Into my mind.

I never expected

Someone like you

To walk into my life.

And while I claim

To seek discomfort

It’s really the

Inevitable

Discomfort of loss

From whence

I try to hide.

I know

You would never hurt me,

Not with intent.

And yet, I know

It will not last

It’s fated to end

As quickly as it started out.

And will it not

Hurt more

Than if it simply

Never began?

I see warmth and affection

In your eyes.

The way you look at me

Makes me feel more alive.

The truth is

I’m afraid

Of being left, all alone.

And so,

I don’t allow others

The chance to leave,

I don’t allow them in.

Should I do

The same with you,

Allowing it to end

Before it begins?

Or should I accept

This fleeting moment

That will bring

All the things

I try to flee?