Poets logo

Disappear

by Becky Curl about a year ago in heartbreak
Report Story

I just want to know who I could have been if I had never met you.

Disappear
Photo by Steve Harvey on Unsplash

I want to disappear into this cup of coffee.

I want it to swallow me whole.

I want the heat to spread through my body, penetrate my bones, and bring me the relief that I have always been so desperately searching for.

I want it to help me forget my problems.

I want it to help me function like normal.

I just want so badly to feel normal.

I want to have conversations without thoughts of you circling through my mind.

I want to have relationships without memories of you ruining them. Every. Single. Time.

I want so badly to know what it is like to have a mind you have never been a part of.

I just want to know who I could have been if I had never met you.

Maybe I would trust people instead of always assuming they want to do me harm.

Maybe when I laughed my eyes would have the same light that they used to.

Maybe I would have learned how to finally let someone in.

Maybe I wouldn’t be so terrified to have sex because I would know what it’s like for someone to actually love me.

Maybe I just wouldn’t be so fucking terrified all of the time.

I don’t think there is enough coffee in this house to ever make you go away.

heartbreak

About the author

Becky Curl

Freelance Writer. Freelance Make-Up Artist. Teacher. Wig & Make-Up Designer. Coffee, dogs & pop-punk are my life.

Reader insights

Be the first to share your insights about this piece.

How does it work?

Add your insights

Comments

There are no comments for this story

Be the first to respond and start the conversation.

Sign in to comment

    Find us on social media

    Miscellaneous links

    • Explore
    • Contact
    • Privacy Policy
    • Terms of Use
    • Support

    © 2022 Creatd, Inc. All Rights Reserved.