Dichotomy of a Healing

My mind is fashioned to forget

She doesn’t like to focus on unpleasantness for too long

Time heals all wounds

Are they supposed to heal so fast?

Is it healing if the feeling has been forced to fade before the tears have even dried?

I lay at night with a twisting, squeezing, rib-cracking, ache in my chest

Certainly, this isn’t heartbreak, I know this feeling far too well for what is supposed to be a monumental life experience

My mind is a drill instructor yelling and pushing and saying “it's time to move on”

She gives me no time to carefully file each moment away as I would like to

She likes to rip the pain away, toss it in a box, and kick it into the farthest corner

She hates me and berates me for wasting so much time

My heart, she likes to hold on to those sorrows, replaying them over and over like they are her favorite movies

My heart, she pats the bed, pulls the blankets up to my chin, and hands me a spoon full of ice cream

My heart, she says, “this is pain and it is yours to feel”

My heart, she says, “this defines you”

My heart likes to remind me that I am perfectly human

My heart allows me the comfort of truly feeling the feelings that provide me with growth and acceptance of myself