Derealization
A Villanelle Poem
I was in my room when I lost my mind,
Like most of my dreams I waited to wake up and die,
But I never did and I think it’s a luxury I’ll never find.
I think the world left me behind,
People are happy to have a bad day then get up and retry,
While I’m watching the clock trying to understand how the hours are defined.
I’m sleeping, dreaming, I must be trapped inside my mind,
I must be- that’s why I’m too tired to cry but too scared to die,
And can’t care to do the things by which I used to be defined.
Maybe this is just how I was designed,
Doomed to walk through life like it’s a wall and I’m a fly,
The brightness of the world has declined.
So why do I continue the “ daily grind”,
Why am I so aware that none of this is fine,
How do I know that I haven’t been improved and redefined?
I thought I was tangled in knots I needed to unwind,
But maybe my awareness was just an alibi…
I’m awake now and know the meaning of life is something I won’t find,
Because it was never there- I just used to be blind.
About the Creator
Katherine Bodger
I’ve always loved to write. Whether or not I’m any good, well, that’s for others to decide.
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Comments (1)
This was extremely relatable. So sorry you're feeling this way too. Sending you lots of love and hugs ❤️