Depression

when i get depressed ..

i get in this mood ..

to not speak , to not laugh , to not eat food.

& honestly, @ times it's hard for me to move .

Cuz I feel overwhelmed with hurt .

With tears. With pain .

it seems as if i have nothing to lose but it's so much more to gain.

I wanna get better ... Truly .. I do.

But talking to a person who only here for the moment is sumn I won't do

Cuz why pour out to a stranger ?

One who just thinks they know me since they went to college .

They degree is their justification of knowledge ,

So they think they got me all figured out.

But the amount of shit i feel on a daily , would put anyone in a drought .

My depression is stemming from my abandonment issues .

I just wanna get all this shit out my head .

every day is a new day where something makes me dread ,

everything. eating , Talking, being around.

my heart is in my body , but it's sinking to the ground .

im bound to the pain of emotions .

i wish it was sumn to stop this shit. Maybe a potion .

Cuz my feels are in constant motion.

Up . Down . It's never fails that every day i crack a million fake smiles .

looking like a clown when everyone is gathered together .

bc i can never seem weak enough to not ride out this stormy weather .

Dark clouds don't last forever.....

Right ? ...