Delusion

I was too lovestruck to see the real you

because I was convinced you were the one I'd always dream of

You didn't care enough to get to know the real me

because I'll never be one of the skinny bimbos you seem to love

No matter what I do or how I change, I'll never be the one you want

and I can't keep torturing myself trying to be someone else, pretending our values are aligned

but it wasn't fair to either of us that I put you up on that pedestal either

You never could have lived up to the man who only ever existed in my mind

Now these tears I shed aren't for you, you don't deserve them

No, I'm missing the delusion of who I thought you were

Torn apart as I discovered who you really are

and my hope for love has become nothing more than a dream deferred

Now these tears I shed aren't for us, there was never a "we" or an "us"

No, I'm grieving the delusion of what I thought we could be

Shattered by reality as the blinders fell from my eyes

Ignoring the pain and every red flag that maybe I simply didn't want to see

Now these tears I shed aren't for the adventures we have, little more than pipe dreams

No, I'm mourning the delusion of all the things I thought we'd do

Demolished slowly but painfully as I was confronted with the truth

and when I listen to Mary J., I could lie and say I'm "Not Gon Cry," but I'm really "Misty Blue"