It's January and I haven't called you for months.
The roses that I bought for you have dried. We are perhaps too old to talk about the boats we made during the rainy season. Rain is just rain now.
I ate your favorite ice cream today and realized how distance can change everything. One that I have realized is that a person can never change completely, yet at two different moments, she will be completely different. This reminds me of your warm hug.
I was going through our old chats and I saw the starred messages- everything felt like a lie; our laughter, our long conversations, our trips. When I think about the moment we were sitting on that mountaintop-, completely lost in each other- I can only feel the coldness of the sky instead of the fire behind us. Do you remember how you completely let yourself fly and I hugged you so tightly?
All the memories are just but a curse. A window to look into the past where we seem to be happy. Where we have everything sorted and wear our favorite sweaters, Where we feel gifted.
Is it too late to talk about our favorite cafes? Or the times when we sat under the sky and had tea together. How are you supposed to forget everything? Why do people leave? How do you forget the silver watch they were wearing when you laughed together the last time? How do you ever move on from the song that they sang for you? How do you just go on with your life as if your heart is still whole and not missing a part?
Do we ever forget anyone we ever loved or allowed to enter our lives? Or do we go through life- becoming the sum of everyone we ever know?
Does it stop hurting after a certain time?
About the Creator
Catherine Nyomenda
I love writing. I love the swirl of words as they tangle with human emotions. I am a flexible writer and can write almost anything, do you need any help creating content? Well then, get in touch...
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A GENTLE REMINDER.
You should say no when you want to say no. You should speak precisely and kindly and with understanding but directness when you see a friend struggling to make a simple choice that will have a profound effect on their entire quality of life, instead of walking away and discussing with everybody. You should leave your house if in it; you're not wanted' There are ways to pay the rent, there is no way to make somebody love you when they don't. You should say how you feel before it stays in the darkness so long that it becomes the foundation on which your life is built- and then collapses through. You should tell people you love that you love them. You really do. You should dig deep into the untouched abyss of yourself and see what you come out with. First, it will be unhealed wounds you didn't know you had. Second, it will be the light and love and passion under which they rest. Third, it will be the desire to take those things and run with them and build something remarkable. You should evaluate your choices not in light of how other people will perceive them, but how in line with your deepest, truest self they are. You should rise and say "This is who I am, even if you'll crucify me for it” in the very way so many religious and social idols and icons have, even if their fans and followers are the very ones who will do the crucifying. You should give to others what you most need. Which, more often than not, is to say the following "You are not loved by everybody, but that does not mean you are not loved at all." You are not the most beautiful, but being the most beautiful is not what matters most.
By Catherine Nyomenda6 months ago in Poets
Comments (5)
Oh, this made me think. So full of feeling about what's lost and all those little fragments that we remember that come back to us in flashes, like a pin prodding us.
Well written! Good job!
This is so lovely Cath. We never forget, we just push them deep down somewhere, and from time to time they pop out to either haunt us or make us feel wonderful. Still, we develop thicker skins with each passing day, preparing us for forging ahead. Hugs.
I don't think that it would stop hurting. I don't think we can forget them either. We're a sum of us and the memories of them. Like you said, memories indeed are a curse.
Beautiful, heart-tugging verse. I don't think it is ever too late but in my experience many others do.