DEAR SHE.

It's January and I haven't called you for months.

The roses that I bought for you have dried. We are perhaps too old to talk about the boats we made during the rainy season. Rain is just rain now.

I ate your favorite ice cream today and realized how distance can change everything. One that I have realized is that a person can never change completely, yet at two different moments, she will be completely different. This reminds me of your warm hug.

I was going through our old chats and I saw the starred messages- everything felt like a lie; our laughter, our long conversations, our trips. When I think about the moment we were sitting on that mountaintop-, completely lost in each other- I can only feel the coldness of the sky instead of the fire behind us. Do you remember how you completely let yourself fly and I hugged you so tightly?

All the memories are just but a curse. A window to look into the past where we seem to be happy. Where we have everything sorted and wear our favorite sweaters, Where we feel gifted.

Is it too late to talk about our favorite cafes? Or the times when we sat under the sky and had tea together. How are you supposed to forget everything? Why do people leave? How do you forget the silver watch they were wearing when you laughed together the last time? How do you ever move on from the song that they sang for you? How do you just go on with your life as if your heart is still whole and not missing a part?

Do we ever forget anyone we ever loved or allowed to enter our lives? Or do we go through life- becoming the sum of everyone we ever know?

Does it stop hurting after a certain time?