Dear Self

Dear self,

I’m sorry I allowed the insecurities of others to occupy our space.

For allowing them to seep into our mind,

Making room for them to drop their baggage and

Curl up into our memories.

I confused this for cohabiting.

Believed that we were reaching higher ground,

While bearing dead weight.

Adding new stretch marks to tally all the battles we have walked away from feeling defeated,

Despite having gained absolute freedom.

Even in our meekest moments;

You show mercy for me in all my mishaps.

You do not question when I hint at havoc.

Instead you serve a soft reminder;

The purest form of violence is the way a seed destroys itself to become a flower.

At times it becomes easy to question if we have been planted on futile grounds.

We have been drowned many times before ever blossoming.

Still you stick around for spring.

Dressed in grace, adorned with rescelince,

You are the butterfly and the bee.

I will help you heal.

The vacancy sign will go idle.

We will no longer indulge in guests who mismeasure our worth.

We will dig, plant our roots so deep there will be no choice but to sprout upwards.

We will accept the thorns that blossom as we do the rose.

And I

I vow that I

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I will find home in you.