Dear Coffee

Dear Coffee,

-

How you doing, honey?

Get over here. I’ve got something to tell you.

I was considering writing this letter to beer, but then I remembered he’s just my side hustle.

You’re my true love.

Come on now, sweetie, don’t get jealous.

You know we agreed to an open relationship.

You also know if anyone should be a little concerned, it should be me.

After all, you’re the biggest cheater on the planet.

How many lips do you kiss in the morning?

How many do you drive wild with your irresistible aroma,

as those lips bathe in your nutty deliciousness?

Oh, don’t be coy. You know you’re special.

You know you’re loved the world over, and you revel in your infidelity.

But it’s okay, I still love you anyway,

you unapologetic slut.

Now, get over here and awaken my senses.

My eyes are open and I’m looking at you, Gorgeous.

Get over here and satisfy me.

Make me your slave; you dark, delicious beast,

and I will forever be yours.

-

With dearest love and appreciation,

Me, and Your Concubines