Darkness my Companion

Beyond the Darkness

I am now beyond, I am now above

What was before is now behind

I have beaten my trials

I have passed the tests

Yet burdened I remain

The struggles I've endured

The pain I have cured

The feelings I have embraced

The memories I have engrained

They're a part of me now

Inseparable have they become

Forbidden yet destined to repeat

the mistakes of my youth

So far have I come, yet far I have to go

Mended as I am, I'm still broken to my core

I've a new love, I've a new life

No amount of time or love will fix the past

But I believe one day I will be whole again

Not because I am better, but because I am not

You cannot fix a broken heart or a wounded soul

You can only accept it happened

Come to terms with the emptiness

Embrace the darkness of the memories

I don't have to let the darkness in now

Yet I know that it is inevitable

It is required if I want to move forward

It is said that time heals all wounds

I would argue that it is actually a poor memory

The lack of vividness of those memories

The detachment one feels with those memories

If time could heal, no one would feel pain

We would be happily adrift in the eddies of age

But that's not the case

As long as our memories have roots we suffer

I haven't moved on, I haven't forgotten

I have however accepted that life is suffering

I have embraced darkness,

I have brought it with me

Out of the night and into the light

Not by choice but out of necessity

I've found happiness

I've found love

I've found my truth

The darkness and I feel it together

We see that this time may be different

I hope it is, the darkness hopes it isn't

It hopes we can shroud ourselves again

Covered by sheets of despair

I'll continue to hope, as futile as it may be

That I'll one be whole again

That one day I'll be free

Deep down i do know better

I know that this time is the same

Whether I am right or wrong

I'll have the darkness, my companion, by my side