Darkness is my Candle

I chase the sun

Before it sets

Trying to feel its warmth,

Then it's gone

In the blink of an eye,

And I know the darkness is standing idly by.

It's tempting and delicious -

The farthest thing from fictitious,

And I constantly fall into the temptation

Of being in the comfort of my own darkness.

This darkness is what I retreat to

When life gets too hard

When clouds hide the sun

Making everything around me feel dark.

When will I actually feel

The warmth the sun gives?

When will I allow its rays to penetrate through my skin?

To break through my bones?

I chase it every day -

Yet I feel so alone.

When will this light

Touch an area of my body -

That even to me is unknown?

This light of my heart -

That has been broken open -

As embodied in this prose.

Isn’t every color of the rainbow -

Emitted in the sunshine?

When will I allow the sun to ignite -

This little light of mine?

One day - maybe.

I will be:

Grounded in hues of red,

Vibrant like a juicy orange,

And mellow in yellow.

Allowing the the light to shine,

Even on the deepest scars.

Revealing a shimmer of green,

With a drop of blue -

Watering the garden in my heart.

Connecting me to me -

And you to you.

Allowing a vision -

To become reality.

The vision of my life’s path from the start.

One of divine ecstasy.

Oh how beautiful I see - this rainbow can be.

With Indigo radiating on my crown.

Yet - I still keep my head down.

The more I open up,

The more vibrant the colors of my soul -

Are free to glimmer on their own accord.

Allowing me to see me,

In a way I never have seen me before.

Fear.

Is.

Paralyzing.

There is this light.

I keep chasing it -

And It keeps getting farther and farther away.

"My sun!”

I scream -

And it laughs at me.

As it rises and sets on its own time -

Knowing that I want it to be mine.

My darkness is my light

I will learn to let it shine.

Every facet of me,

Deserves to be seen.

The light of my soul -

Will always know -

that it has a home in the colorful rainbow.

The tears I’ve shed,

Have created the clouds,

That release the vision -

that pain has allowed.

My darkness is my candle -

I now accept that.

I can see clearly now -

There would be no rainbow without the clouds.