Daddy's Girl

Once I was daddy’s Little girl...

I’d curl upon his knee. His stories around my head they would whirl. Nobody to interrupt us just him and me.

Disobeying mum, buying me a sugary treat, taking me to the park and coming back late. So full of sugar, my tea I'd not want to eat. Dad telling mum that I’d already ate.

Weekends spent swimming, laughing and running. New games invented, trees climbed, hugs shared. Every Friday I’d look for him coming Down the road, in his white van, for him I really cared.

Until one day he didn’t come, no van down the road...Just a police car its siren making no sound; Nobody could have guessed what happened, adults all talking in code. Me so lost, confused for I was only six and staring at the ground.

I’m sorry for this news I give she said that did we want her to stay. Confused I just continued to sit with my toys and play I remember mummy screaming at her to go away Things forever changed, after the news we got that day

I remember mummy crying as I sat upon her knee Cuddling me close so tightly as she struggled to understand remember being confused as the policeman looked at me...As she stroked my mummy’s hand.

Today I sit here writing this looking back upon that week I was angry, I hit out at everyone Mummy struggled too, to no-one did she speak. I just remember feeling numb.

Everyone was sad, cross and so worn That day we said goodbye. As they all surrounded us to mourn; Mum was so tired she had no more tears to cry...

As I put my flowers upon his coffin high Mummy lifted me up so I could see daddy one last time. My cheeks never remained dry. My daddy was a victim and prisoner of depression, like some sort of crime...

Depression was his killer I understand now It accept help or pills he thought he was above it all. A fighter who lost the fight and ended up so much colder. I remember him, he always had a smile I can to this day recall.