Conversation Starters

Ladies and Gentlemen,

Surely you’ve felt, one way or another,

When a talk or a lecture seems to go asunder.

When no one can speak, or muster a thought,

And silence prevails, making friends feel distraught.

I’ve devised a method! Or a technique of sorts,

to reduce these embarrassments and change our retorts!

A list of questions I offer, I have a multitude in mind.

Use three in a week, and your world will change–Of this, I’m resigned.

My policy in this: the more obscure, the more defined.

So say: “Good sir, what is your opinion on cantaloupe rind?”

Then, when his answer is sufficient, and his gears are spinning,

Ask: “In the Gastropod housing market, are slugs or snails winning?”

You’ll blow them off their feet, with the questions you ask,

Like: “Would you marry a woman named Cassiopeia Vasque?”

Throw in a comment on the state of your goat farm,

Or ask: “Ma’am, is that a cyst growing out of your arm?”

And when all else has failed, or they ask: “Are you done?”

Say: “What’s that over there?” Turn around and run.