Comfort

What is it,

what is it exactly

where some people can enjoy life every day

while others struggle to find something, the one thing to keep them going?

.

what is it?

What is it exactly,

that gave me a whole childhood

free of worries, free of struggles, free of suffering

into the cursed existence that I am "living" in now?

.

what is it:

a list of misdeeds that I had done in a previous life

That also had a grace period of twenty human years

for some prearranged date of when my suffering would start?

.

Who can I ask these questions to, and more importantly,

Who can give me the answers I seek?

.

Comfort should not be a lie,

comfort should be something that is given to everyone.

I was comfortable when I was young,

powerless, timid, naïve.

.

But what I had I real

and now I know I must work hard

in order to make that a reality for everyone.

.

No flowers, no stones,

no sticks that may break others' bones.

What I have, what I have regained,

it is enough.

.

It is enough to keep me going and pass on

that comfort to the ones close to me.

Comfort will come for me again,

I believe this will happen to me eventually,

but to remake the world, the perfect world

that my grandparents envisioned,

that is what will give me true comfort in the end.

.

.

A world where little kids are able to enjoy

a little dixie cup of orange cream, raspberry jam,

or chocolate swirl ice cream;

most of the time one, but sometimes two

since grandpa had a sweet tooth as well.

Cooling off in the summer, lil knobby legs swinging on the porch steps.

.

Endless card games, squeals of laugher as all the young cousins

chase each other through the house, finding nooks and crannies,

cubbies and closets, behind clothes racks and shoe racks,

the shower curtain too!

The adults just sat down talking to each other, tired,

giving us a bemused smile and sigh.

.

Family vacations

where the whole horde of us, twenty something and counting,

went somewhere and bonded over the experience.

Moments I will treasure throughout the rest of my life.

My goal to recreate such experiences,

for all of us to be as one and lift each other up,

be free of worries.

.

THAT is my ideal comfort situation. This is what I want comfort to be.

I want it all for everyone around me.