cogitation

“There’s still light, can we go outside?”

*

“I’ve been walking for so long

it must have been seven miles

one way or another

or together; it feels stiff in my knees

but we can go again

to make up for those days

when we don’t want to see the world

when the only thing we find purpose in

is lying in bed alone

dreaming of things we’ve done in the past

things we still want to do:

holding someone so tight

until we both run out of breath;

watching movies side by side;

speaking without fear

that our words will be misplaced

misjudged and misunderstood.”

*

“I took my sorrow to the store

lost some decency along the way

when people shouted that I was wrong

standing there on my own;

there was no one beside me, they didn’t know me

they thought different things about me

they were not real, conceived like a fiction

I make up for fun in my spare time

though it’s no fun anymore

when someone turns my life into one

of those stories that are not true

bringing out only the saddest view

believing a lie, emphasising it to the point

which I cannot contain anymore ;

so, what I’m going to do now?

no soulmates around

when their faces, though invisible daily

they became the faces of monsters

because I confessed the past

they made it the present out of it

to make sure I deserved the worst

for the worst has already happened to me;

why?”

*

“Why do you want to punish me more

can’t you see that I’ve had enough?

I was forced to bear all the accusations alone

without legal support ;

should it be in the country

where you worked hard, just to escape the past

but it did catch up with you in the end

making more mess than you might expect

disfigured events showing their seams

instead of any real thing

that would be worth sharing.”

*

October – December 2022

***

Thank you for reading!