Clairvoyant

There were moments of premonition

in that dark pizza parlor;

us seated tête-á-tête to meet,

our friends like nervous bettors

to a ring. I can’t remember

what I said, but there it was:

the folding of your chin, nose

sloping and showing off

its perfect proportions. And

for the main event…

your eyes lowered and peering,

could I even say what color

or just that they were piercing?

How long could it have lasted,

a couple seconds, maybe?

Perhaps less, just a flash and

my mind, expecting death, tried

to extend it for an eternity.

Then came the months of waiting,

of running, of endless reading,

of lying like a dog in the sand

and trying to think like one too,

for what’s out of sight cannot hurt you.

But no, this recollection visited me

many days, these days

the busy world was billowing

plagues to keep me from you.

(How the world selfishly shrinks when you

find the one you love; its trick, of course,

is that soon every sunlit beech tree

or the animating of windswept sand

and the lengthening of shadows down

autumn streets, pulls you, unfolds

your origami mind and drags you

like a kite, a wind jerking you around until

your psychic map is forced to confess there

is more everything, everywhere you had not seen.)

Now I think what could possibly

have prompted your facial posture

that long-ago winter night since I’ve

seen it again in all its magic & glory:

We were in the bathtub—candles

at the sink, Bandol at the ready,

Walden in the air and a waterspout

jammed into my back. I lied and

said I’m fine, just happy to have

a reason to lean over you. Then,

everything else stopped and I

held your heart under my palm;

you, so severe, your face cast,

angled down and I could only

draw sharp and shallow breaths.

And you told me you loved me.

I’m sorry I laughed. In this way,

I am your opposite, a fool,

all gravitas eludes me. But I

told you the truth: I am just

so happy. Let us sit here, soaking,

this reverse séance, a magnified

and glowing manifestation of

what once almost was and

now is all there is—feels

hyper real and that I am dreaming.