Cavity Search

i stuffed half a kilo of pure heroin

into condoms then up my butt

as i sat inside the toilets

at the Bali Pizza Hut

i broke into a cold sweat

as i contemplated my crime

i was prepared to spend the profits

but not to do the time

i made it to the airport

and aboard the plane without a hitch

i slipped into a nervous doze

as i thought about getting rich

the flight was without consequence

tea and coffee came and went

all i could think of was Sydney

cashed up and fuckin bent

i got stopped at airport customs

it caused a minor stir

they looked me up they looked me down

and then said "THIS WAY SIR!"

escorted to a private room

and told to remove my clothing

i must confess i was a fucking mess

and in a state of fear and loathing

i heard the SNAP of a rubber glove

guaranteeing it's snug tight fit

i cringed cause i knew any second now

it's all gonna turn to shit

my colonic stash was invaded

aside, bruised my pride was cast

the greasy long arm of the law

was half way up my arse