c u r r e n t

if i emerge on the other side of my edges

i *know* are available to me

vast oceans of growth and freedom

but I am awash in thoughts of

the churning darkness trying to envelop my mind

i will not allow myself to become englufed in

the little waves of happiness of this present moment

because i am submerged in

paralyzing thought patterns from my past

and

suffocating fear of the future

in my current state of mind

i cannot see

in order to save myself from the fluxing of the tide

that i must grasp the small streams of blessings that lead to rivers of gratitude

i am consumed by the notion

this deluge of suffering is my story to own but

i have been told that

if i can learn to float through the torrent

there is an abundance of truths to be found yet

i feel

i am powerless against this crushing mental tide

and i repudiate the idea that

there is strength in me to overcome these limiting beliefs

i am drowning in a sea of tumultuous thoughts

and i can't understand how

in this blinding darkness

light can be found

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