Blue

The wind rushes in as the door pushes open, and my face is hit with frozen air. I smell a concoction of brakes, cigarettes, cinnamon rolls and coffee.

I step onto the city concrete. The bus makes the jarring sound of an engine lurching heaviness forward, adding more disruption to the cacophony of a city’s symphony.

A coffee shop is on the corner.

Do I have time for a cup? Yes. Just a few minutes. Warmth is welcome today.

I walk toward the door and pull my scarf around my neck blocking winter’s chill.

I find myself behind a tall man wearing a long, navy-blue wool coat. He turns, hearing me approach. His hair is combed as perfectly as the coat defines his broad shoulders.

His eyes lock with mine. Ocean blue. Striking, handsome. My breath stops as if I hold it before jumping to take a swim.

My body is weightless, sinking and tied to a dropping anchor; I am pulled to the depths of his ocean eyes.

The city’s bustle is suddenly silent as I see rotating bus tires stop without a sound.

His pink lips begin to part, stirring this timeless space of nothing-filled-with-everything.

“Hi,” he says with a voice made of sweet tea and aged whiskey. I have never been so thirsty for something I didn't know could be so good.

Warmth washes down my spine as if I just took a sip of him.

A desire moves through me, rising from the depths of my being and pushes with it a simple “Hello” through my lips.

He smiles.

I breathe. Oh yes, breath, I have forgotten you!

He has not broken my gaze. I wade in the blue oceans of his eyes.

How is this so? I don’t even know his name.

I see thick steam rise from a passerby’s coffee mug, recalling the chill on my skin a few seconds ago. Or was it minutes now?

His hand reaches for the door and grabs the handle. He moves with a gentle confidence. I want to be the handle in his hands’ grasp. I want his hands to touch me, hold me, wrap around me as our toes touch and tangle.

Does he feel this, too? I don’t know. My breath is heavy and stuck in my throat as if unanswered questions alone result in suffocation.

I want to flail my arms and scream for him to rescue me from drowning in this sea of unknown.

With another step, I enter. Hopeful that I am walking, wading

Into more time,

Timeless eternity,

More of his ocean,

And the divine agony of drowning fully alive.