Blue and Red in Gray

Often times I find

My world can turn to gray

The colors that I’m used to

Just up and fade away

I search in desperation

To find some shred of life

In a world that I am losing

Yet gray even takes my strife

There is no sense of suffering

When I'm inside that gray

Just a subtle hollow

No joy, no fear, no pain

I fight against that monotone

That threatens to dissolve my soul

I know if I get in to far

It could consume me whole

But everywhere I look

I only see the same

No hint of other color

No sign to keep me sane

When I cannot find those colors

In the wide, wide world outside

I turn to whats inside me

And bring out what I would hide

Inside there is a sorrow

It feels like a deep, dark blue

At times it threatens to drown me

As I fight to make it through

Yet any sense of feeling

Even ones against which I pray

Can push back the hollow

That is the void of gray

I swim with failing passion

Against that deep blue sea

To keep my head above it all

And find some way to be

The blue holds back the gray

If only just in part

At least I feel something

Though it pains my heart

I think “Am I broken

To dive into despair

Just to run from nothingness?”

And I know it isn’t fair

But then I spot the spark

That the dimming passion brings

The faintest tinge of red

In that dark blue stormy sea

I hold onto it with both hands

And wish with all my might

To grow that feeble spark

Into a brilliant light

And as the passion grows

Red joins blue and gray

And suddenly a new color

Appears among this fray

The red and blue commingle

One a fire, one a sea

The lights of contrasting emotions

Birth a Purple light in me

It blazes into life

And burns back the hollow gray

Stirring again the world around

To color I hope stays

The gray that I sometime feel

Is so hard to dispel

But even hard emotions

Serve purpose in this well

Those emotions are responses

To ever changing life

To physical and mental

Battles that we fight

I work to slowly drain myself

Of that deep blue malaise

But while it is here

I’ll acknowledge its place

And the bright red burning passion

That I feel for what’s held dear

Will lift me up and hold me

Secure against my fears

So when the gray approaches

Or the blue risks my life

The red that is my passion

Blends to bring my Purple light