Bittersweet in the End

I told you I can't

I told you that was the last time

I told you I was done with all of it

Yet here I am

Like a coward

I was too afraid to die

Too afraid to even tell you why

That even though I hated it all

I fell in love with the world

I fell in love with life

And somehow that love was enough

It was enough to make me hesitate

To wonder if I was making a mistake

No matter how much pain I endured

My stupid love for life

It kept me anchored to the world

Because I had so much yearning

For what life could be

That my lack of hope

Simply meant my days were spent in agony

Wanting to do better

But knowing I wouldn’t