Biscuit
A Cautionary Tale About AI
We bought a little robot
To help us clean the floor.
It wasn't real expensive,
We could have spent much more,
*
But all the bells and whistles,
Self-dumping and the like,
Seemed frivilous and wasteful,
So we bought this little tyke.
*
We named our robot "Biscuit"
Because it seemed to fit,
But since I've got to know it,
I call it "Little Sh*t."
*
It beeps and plays a little tune
When it begins to suck.
It even speaks some funny lines,
Like, "Help! My brush is stuck!"
*
It knows its way around the house,
And wipes from door to door,
By dragging anything behind
You left upon the floor.
*
It interrupts my writing
By bludgeoning my feet
Until I back out from the desk,
Acknowledging defeat.
*
When Biscuit hits a threshold,
Because the floors aren't level,
It bumps and spins and whirls, as if
Possessed by Robot Devil.
*
When all the rooms have been attacked,
It finds its way home soon
And parks its happy little butt
And plays a happy tune.
*
And when the little sh*t is done,
Everything's dust free
Until I empty out its tray,
And then, the dust's on me.
*
But Biscuit is a toddler,
Whom we hope one day will grow,
Into a real, live robot
We'll all be proud to know.
*
Meanwhile, my friends and neighbors,
Please heed my warning well,
If you buy the cheaper model,
Prepare for AI hell!
***
About the Creator
Dana Crandell
Dad, Stedpad, Grandpa, Husband, lover of Nature and dogs.
Poet, Writer, Editor, Photographer, Artist and Tech/Internet nerd. Content writer by trade. Vocal Creator by choice.
Reader insights
Outstanding
Excellent work. Looking forward to reading more!
Top insights
Heartfelt and relatable
The story invoked strong personal emotions
Compelling and original writing
Creative use of language & vocab
Easy to read and follow
Well-structured & engaging content
Excellent storytelling
Original narrative & well developed characters
Eye opening
Niche topic & fresh perspectives
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Comments (54)
Congratulations on the year end award. You deserve every piece of recognition. Cannot see what you have in store for us in 2024
I have a Euphy robot vacuum so can relate. Have to block areas so she doesn't get stuck and I frequently forget she is running behind a closed door!
Hahahahah! This is so funny and very well written! Congratulations on your top story !!
“Into a real life live robot” made me lol!! Very fun & enjoyable piece Dana. 😊👍 Excellent work! Congrats on this top story too!
Good one Dana!!! 🤪
Love it! nice and humorous!
Great work
This is bloody great, pal. I tip my hat to you for this fun and so well written Top Story. So much better written than that last line right there....call myself a writer? lol. Anyway, fine work, as ever. Loved it a lot.
The playful tone and clever rhyming make it an enjoyable read, and the humor adds a delightful touch to the narrative. Thank you for sharing this entertaining piece with us!
Haha too great! I have a robo vac we named it swiper. But I call it doesn't work. They are great but not so much with little ones who leave things on the floor lol or too many pets though mine will navigate around their poop
Love it!
Love it, Congratulations on the Top Story!!!
🤣 Great poem. Love that you named it 🤣
This was so unique and playful. I always like to imagine they're having sweet little dreams when they return to the dock. Thanks for the whimsical read!
Hahaha! This was hilarious Dana!! I laughed so hard!! Congrats on Top Story, my friend!! 🎉
This was so fun! I have a cheaper version that does not sing. It beeps when it's stuck. It does remind me of caring for a toddler. Now I need to give it a name! Congrats on Top Story!
This is f**king hilarious and so true. We have a Roomba that was a gift from family a few of years ago. We used it for a little while until we noticed it getting into knock down, all out fights with our dog. I guess Mei Li got tired of the F**king thing trying to eat her tail.
And this is why we don't have one! I'm sure your piece won't hinder sales in any way though!
Love it! :)
Hilarious!!! loved it
B R I L L I A N T !
This is great 🤣
That sucks! Your clever poem made me smile. Well done!
Hilarious!!!
😂 Oh my! I never expected...suspected... That...was COOL!