Beautiful Tragedy

I feel like I’m losing you.

I feel like my heart can no longer reach you.

Your color fades to grey with no emotions anywhere.

I can’t help but stare, lonely, exhausted from all the wear and tear.

Feeling so high that you can’t find your worth anywhere.

Too drunk to notice all the fake love everywhere.

Too many tears for all the souls you lost this year.

Only thinking about how you can end up there.

So much anger it can’t even compare.

To the fire that took away that breath of fresh air.

They stole your body and put it up for sale somewhere.

How can you find it when all you can see is wealth everywhere.

You never had it, gotta have it, now you have it.

But. you can’t even blink cause it’s a habit.

Hours upon hours, 300, 800, and maybe 1000 but all the money in the world isn’t worth this,

tragic,

torture.

How can you have all these riches but feel so lonely?

Your mind attacking you and telling you to just do one more.

It hurts.. I hurt.

My mind is racing wondering how many more.

Before I breath in my very last breath and fall to the floor.

The paramedics rush through the door.

Oh shit, it happened now my body lay limp on the board.

Scared for me as I can’t breath anymore.

Momma didn’t receive any call but she knew her baby was missing.

Tears roll down her face as she thinks about me leaving.

Packed all her bags before she even knew I was departing.

I’m sorry momma for all the things I was believing.

I took one more and now my mother is weeping.

Knowing all her pain, trying to scream.

Can’t feel a thing but I really want to see her gleam.

I’m trying momma, I won’t give up cause I know you have a dream,

Of a world with your daughter and her kin.

I don’t even know where to begin.

As I wake up and my momma rubs my chin.

Bursting into tears knowing I can see her again.

Don’t cry mom, “I’m fine now”, I said.

I’m going to do better and build my empire from within.

Counting my blessings, won’t ever slip again.

Found my heart and body again.

Happiness all around me it’s zen.

Momma so proud she is finally happy once more.

I love her so very deep down on my core.

She gives me life and makes me want to do so much more.

She gave me him and now my life i can’t ignore.

My brother showed me love I never knew before.

Family is forever and I won’t let that go.

I’m a rider and you already know.

I’ll do anything to keep them smiling and won’t worry them no more.

Finding myself isn’t easy but it’s something I gotta work for.

Because life is too short to not care anymore.

You only get this one shot.

And then you won’t be able to show love anymore.

That’s what it’s about right?

Love.

If you can’t love, you have nothing.

If you don’t allow love, you have nothing.

Because when it’s your time to fade away who is going to care?

All they see is someone who didn’t appreciate them and didn’t see what was coming and now you expect the whole world to come running.

But they won’t.

Open your heart to those who truly believe in you.

It’s ok to be hurt sometimes but don’t lose sight of what all is true.

Have no fear, cause I promise you they will love you too.