Back Ended

Back Ended

I don’t want to disappoint you and say I’ll be around.

Because in order to remain focused I have to cry out loud.

The tears never flow from an empty vessel

but you left me broken and torn

so I operate like an empty vessel.

You use to tell me I was special,

the lies kind of creep up when you’re dealing with narcissistic regression,

now I’m fighting the tension,

and the puncture wounds looks like I been jabbed with a knife sharpening tool.

All I can remember is you stabbing me in my back like I wasn’t in front of you.

Cheating lying going on your little rendezvous, you know what men do when they proclaim they’re unhappy

but to the world he wasn’t one of you.

I guess you made up in your mind

and convinced yourself of this sort of deception.

now all I can do is cry and proclaim I need Jesus to free from you devil.

The demonic ties of the shadow working but the journaling is optimistic,

you played me like an option now all you have left to do is to finally pick one.

Still I see no witness.

No one to claim that your were good to their insecurities

but I can ensure you brought them yours.

No one to proclaim you loved with sincerity because all you’re covered with is scars.

The scary part of facing you is the scarcity.

The secrets I tell myself in the dark to see.

The sacrament of a heart that has been scared so deeply.

A tissue wound so deeply undressed that only

Jesus can help me pick and choose when I want to undress, long nights and unrest.

But this I had to address.

I mean this is what it feels like when a woman loves a man from her chest.

Now I know you called me mommy but she has her own set of breast.

I have to forgive you for something more while you’re acting like it’s something less.