Ayy Lmao's!

they didn’t come to destroy us

or show off their latest tech

they came to earth to party

they came here to get smashed and wrecked

the aliens have landed

and they need to see a bloke

they have a need, but not for speed

they just want to score some coke

having learnt the trick of avoiding radiation

van Allen belt issues quickly mastered

they wanna get high on our earthly supply

they wanna get wasted and plastered

they bought an elbow of space bud (a long time ago)

in a galaxy far, far away

it was supposed to last longer than it did

that’s why they’re fiending today

so they stopped off at earth

hoping to hook up without much fuss and drama

poor little green bastards ran into me and my mates

how do you like that for karma?

they’ve parked up around the corner

invisibly cloaked an all (why wouldn’t ya?)

hoping to cop some dank hydro kush

and maybe a nice eight ball

so we treated them royally,

to not just our finest bean (Yo Ziltoid!)

they were chewing more than just ‘bacca

jeez they were as keen as they were green

they microdosed some LSD

and dined upon the fungus of the mind

now they’re tripping space balls

looking for things they’ll never find

their alien appetites were universal

they shared all the gear we had

and then we swapped the stories as you do

the good, the ugly, the bad

eventually the drugs ran out

but that didn’t spell the end

we headed to the nearest bottlo’

looking for something to assist the bend

we introduced them to OP Rum

they got damn nasty drunk real quick

these spaceys are druggies not pissheads

we need to score more gear real quick

they said they new a bloke on the moon behind Venus

that could do a deal for up front cash

but we’d have to wait here

and that they’d be back in a dash

so we raked up enough cash for half a pound

and gave it to our new green skinned friends

that was three weeks ago now to the day

and that’s where this friendship ends

those green glowy fingered little alien pricks

took off with all our cash

even after we let them probe us rectally

i just hope that i don’t get a rash

never hand over your dollars my friend

not to anyone you don’t know

especially if you haven’t seen the gear

on offer from an Ayy Lmao

simply no-one can be believed or trusted

not from this universe or any other

there's no screams in space but you can hear them laugh

as they make alien jokes about your mother

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and to go out with bang [ ] or a wimper [ ]

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