Ash

I wonder if the ash of your cigars

reminded you of soot & sand

on beaches you stormed.

You’d stare at the clear glass,

dusted with the remnants

of the cigar

that held onto your thoughts

as you smoked it.

I wondered as a child

how you could escape into

your cigars

but now I know

every roll of tobacco

held a memory

You needed to let go of.

Your trauma burned

with every puff

and you let it roll

In your mouth

like a story you’ll never tell again.

You went to war,

yet came back with more battles

fighting in your mind.

When you left us,

we let your body become ash,

finding your peace

like all those cigars

in the crystal ashtray urn.