As I was

Once, so dreary, this reality of mine

with fluorescents, not starlight, above my head

i’d count the hours

till it would end-

the conditioned air

the bitter scent

of dry erase and armament.

Back then, it was worth it

so long as my days

ended

with tapping ofthekeys

the backlight against my face

in the darkness of theeve

where UNIFORM CODE was then, confined

in favor of

my own design.

i’d siphon and distill

synthesize and thrill

transcribe on the screen

my creative fill

i’d weave the words into songs without sound

and orchestrate actions

into scenes unbound

pulling from the recesses of a darkeningmind

knowing not the passage of time

It worked

Forawhile

I’d dance into my own affair

with mywords, no longer theirs.

till darkness gathered

under my eyes

in everycorner

everycrevice

everynookofmymind

untilmysanity

Icouldnolongerfind.

Later

Much later.

when forced to kill

this macabredanse

in the form of a pill

I drained

I swallowed

I anchored

I hollowed.

To a place where darkness no longer followed.

I’d feel its absence in

unending days.

Empty words

on

lined, yellow page

“What lurked in darkness, you cannot trust”

this shade of yourself, “Let it settle to dust.”

This shadow that haunts, declared obsolete

This piece of myself

my f(r)iend I can’t keep.