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Artist, Undoubtedly

but I must explain, and even then...

By Ellen StedfeldPublished 5 months ago Updated 5 months ago 2 min read

"I am an artist"

yet that's too vague, so I need to explain and

"I do mostly drawing and illustration"

helps to still-briefly elaborate upon this thread

except nothing I do is clean cut enough

to be understood simply in solid set of frames

therefore cannot be told in just a few words so

"I sketch the performers/speakers at live events"

clarifies my main thing lately and the last few years

yet prompts more questions about what that means

and I'd love to talk about it, but then there's more:

"I also do freelance portraits and children's book art"

"I also write my own fantasy stories and poems"

the poetry at least had some tangible benchmarks

to show for my dedication and determination

and for the stories I do too in a sense:

in the binders of scraps and years of notes,

in the samplers of comics and interactive art shows,

in the mazes of my mind and retellings animated,

though I can transfuse my excitement --

it starts getting complicated

especially when I feel compelled to

pepper these descriptions with disclaimers since

people will inevitably ask me "so when can I read it!"

and my reply will be "if it ever hopefully exists"

because no one is paying me to make my own creations

and my heart is bursting with motivations

but my pockets are worse empty, they have holes,

and have I mentioned my endless range of interests?

"I have a desk covered in mixed media experiments"

and when I get distracted in our conversation by the

randomest photo opp, I have to admit

"I take pictures too"

and have I mentioned

"I'm a fashion designer in my heart"

"and there's something else I've wanted to try"

because there's oh too much that I aim for

but can't give any of it up,

when for too long I lived by limitations,

when they all mix together so well into new forms,

and whether or not I have the proof ready to show

often I forget that I do, or how I'm closer than I know

I know too well my history of intentions into efforts

treasure these complex thoughts of many creative loves

that even when I struggle to put the words together

in a way that's quite comprehensible to others

when I'm insecure about missing the art

or trip over the next step to level it up

still looks like a pile of fluff 'n stuff

spilling over the table with

the visions in my eyes

yet to be realized

I am an artist.


About the Creator

Ellen Stedfeld

Perpetually immersed in drawing, illustration, and creative experiments, at live events and @EllesaurArts.com

Community arts in NYC/Queens -- LIC Arts Open festival May 15-19th 2024

Love participating in challenges to motivate new work!

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  • Dharrsheena Raja Segarran5 months ago

    This was so profound! Loved this so much!

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