An ode to mothers

You, who held me inside you—

who protected me with your body

fed me from your lifeblood.

No matter what you faced

or what you had to endure

you were with me to the end.

You, who bore me at the cost of your life—

I have carried that weight with me:

I am myself, and I am your sacrifice—

no one but us could understand that love.

But tonight, today, someone release me please.

I will live with your protection, not with survivor’s guilt.

You, who could not bear me—

I hold no grudge or bitterness.

Our lives were joined but for a while:

we will meet again one day.

I thank you for the love you showed me

however difficult or fragile our love was.

You, who bore me but gave me away—

I admit to the emptiness of not knowing

your face, your embrace, your name.

But I live, and it is, it will have to be, enough—

that you could carry me into the world

that I could carry you in my blood.

You, who bore me and raised me a while—

we became lost to each other

and memories fade with age

yet there are places our connection still lives.

Let us be free of the regret and nostalgia—

of wishing for almosts and could-have-beens.

You, who are my mother and yet a stranger—

our relationship is neither of parent nor friend.

We are of blood but not of heart.

Can we find a means of coexistence?

Forgiveness, or a walking away?

Hatred, regret, disappointment just erode.

You, who bore me and raised me to adulthood—

Ah, we did not know how long this road to Adult would be.

Some days it seems I have yet to arrive

at that mythical place of Grown Up.

But through all the bumps, joys, and silences

I am ever so glad that you have been with me.

Today is meant as a day for mothers

whatever our relationship or lack of one.

Today let it be a day for honoring

what a mother means to us

and those in our life—by blood or heart—

who are, or have been, our mothers.