Amongst A Multitude of Shimmering Stars...

The cheers - and jeers - have long since faded,

the cavalcade of rainbows swept

up with debris, errantly tossed to the ground

by celebratory hands

*

It is something I've only experienced

via the random scrolling of a Facebook feed,

pausing at times to vicariously soak in

the festivities of Others.

I've been a mere spectator,

awash in a sea of wanting.

*

But still...

to be even just a sliver in the

Door of Knowing?

During my moments of indirect participation,

I can't help but feel as if I'm a vital part of

- Something -

energetically

beautifully

and

profoundly

Dynamic.

*

...but I am left alone now,

with my own thoughts, my own feelings

disconnected from the Power

that Unity brings

*

I’ve always been a solitary creature,

even in the midst of chaotic wonder

I’ve always sought joy in just – being

but over time, in my search for all that is

Me

I have discovered that with authentic Unity

comes the radiance of Harmony

*

…and Unwavering Acceptance.

*

To believe that I am an Essence 0f

The All...

that I sparkle amongst a vast

array of iridescent stars -

- but still, I maintain my

own, unique shimmer in the brilliance of

The Many?

*

I have found - Solace.

*

….but now,

the Coalition of Love

has disbanded…

drifting off into the world,

like glittering spores of a

dandelion, blown by the winds

of Change…

*

…and now, alone...

the cascade of exuberant voices

drifting away with dandelion winds

It is my voice to which my mind

so ardently listens…

*

…and that voice is a harsh one at times.

*

An unsettled mind can be a traumatic realm

in which to find the timbre of tranquility,

An unsettled heart sets an erratic beat

to which you can no longer joyfully dance

I think I know who I am…

…but is my Identity defined by me…

or those who seek to infiltrate my

consciousness -

box and label-maker in hand?

*

If I don't tear myself open,

baring all that I am to the world,

am I a façade?

I hope not.

I live with an unfastened mind…

and a gaping heart,

raw and vulnerable to the harshness

that cruel intentions can bring.

*

I’m not perfect.

I am, after all, human -

Highly Complex

Grossly Flawed

An intermingling of atoms

neurons,

strands of familial DNA,

and a toss and a tingle

of miscalculations

and mistakes

piloted by my heart,

leaving my brain in

the dusty trail of Regret.

*

Others think they know me -

and with parts of me,

they do -

titles, subtitles, and scribblings

of chapters meant for the masses –

not necessarily for those seeking –

Genre.

*

My more fragile pages,

yellowed with Time

worn by Fraught and Fear

remain Classified -

subject only to the perusal of

those whose minds are

untangled,

without judgment,

devoid of prejudice

I’m an athenaeum of my own keeping,

a reclusive librarian,

wandering the aisles,

protector of my own tomes.

*

I walk this world -

my internal library staunchly intact -

feeling the surety of my

feet as they root with the earth,

securing my place within her -

yet it's a bond tenuous enough

to allow me the freedom

to move forever forward.

I swim the seas of life, feeling the rolling

of the waves...

they cradle me -

- carry me -

as a gentle Mother would a timid child

*

I am, after all, Fluid.

*

I love, not by scientific standards,

but by theories scrawled and sifted –

- and sometimes ordained -

by Celestial Hands.

*

I adapt.

I grow.

I change.

I am forever moving,

eternally striving…

*

I am Evolution.

*

…and sometimes,

…within arms of Unwavering Acceptance -

…impassioned by the soulful kisses of a Loving Congregation

*

I am Revolution.

*

If I close my eyes…

If I listen with an open heart…

If I see with a yearning spirit…

Even in my present solitary stillness…

I can hear the cheers of freedom.

I can feel the celebratory hands clasping my own.

I can see the brilliant waves of rainbows moving in, around,

and through me.

I can see the glistening of a multitude of stars,

disconnected by Time

separated by Space

*

….but forever Unified in Love…

*

…and at the depths of my cavernous -

hungering -

soul,

I can hear a faint voice feeding me

with compassionate consolation -

breathing into my heart the words:

“You are not alone.”