Allow Me To Reintroduce Myself

But what goes in the front?!

✍🏾 Daniel — Lee Roy — DLC III

It doesn’t matter. JUST WRITE!

Journal Entry 1 — The Genesis of My Identity: Daniel Leroy Chapman III.

Rooted in the legacy of my family, I stand as the third, following my father, the junior, and my grandfather, Daniel Sr. — a visionary architect of our family’s dreams and a resilient cornerstone in our generational story. Alongside him was my grandmother Leola, a matriarch whose strength and grace are foundational to our family’s ethos.

Born into this rich heritage, I was raised by my mother, a woman embodying resilience and determination in the face of life’s relentless challenges. She navigated the complexities of single parenthood with three sons, each carving out their own narrative under her unwavering love and guidance. As the middle child, my role was unique—always at the heart of the family dynamic, bridging the roles of the eldest and youngest, integral in the continuous thread of our story.

My mother, Kimberly, born to Mary and Joseph (a twist of fate, not of biblical lineage), has been a pivotal figure in shaping my identity. Her strength and relentless spirit have been the cornerstone of my life’s narrative.

Outwardly, I might have projected a sense of self-assuredness. Internally, however, there was a profound struggle, a deep-seated questioning of who I was. I often pondered whether my inner battles were visible to others or overlooked in the hum of everyday life. Grappling with concepts like respect, due diligence, and personal integrity, I found myself in a constant state of introspection and self-reflection.

In my journey of self-discovery, I realized that my focus often lay more on defining who I wasn’t, rather than embracing who I was. This led to a series of awkward and uncomfortable phases during my high school and college years, where I experimented with various identities—playboy, poet, musician, socialite—each a mask that I tried on, yet none fitting snugly with my true self, especially in light of my PDA ASD profile.

Growing up, I was a keen observer, always trying to decipher and understand the nuances of interactions around me. When I first encountered the concept of “middle child syndrome,” I was struck by the notion—why should a desire for recognition be perceived negatively? My brothers, each with their own distinct and remarkable traits, played a significant role in shaping my perception of myself. My older brother, a natural leader, and my younger brother, with his effortless charm and wit, often made me feel like the ordinary one in comparison.

Yet, I never saw myself as a victim of any syndrome. I learned to appreciate our differences and navigate the sometimes overwhelming sensations of empathy and understanding.

Now, about being a middle child—Damien, Daniel, and Darryl. My mother’s choice of the 3Ds was more than a mere alliteration; it was a symbol of unity and connection. As I started to find my voice through writing, I sought a name that resonated with my personal journey while maintaining the bond with my brothers, who have been instrumental in shaping who I am.

Here’s where the story takes an amusing turn. I chose the name Duece, wanting to forge a connection with both sides of my family (my older cousin was nicknamed Ace). But, in a mix-up of letters, I misspelled ‘Deuce’ as ‘Duece’. It was an unintentional error, yet it struck a chord with me. I embraced this unique rendition of the name, and it has since become an integral part of my identity. That’s the story of how Daniel evolved to Danny Duece, then Duece Lee, and finally, to Duece Lee Vizzini—a name that encapsulates my journey, my heritage, and my individuality.

More on that later— I almost forgot. This prompt was about exploring a time I was unsure of my identity.

I guess I never have been. I used to think it was what you were good at that made someone who they were, and I don’t ever feel truly good at anything— more like capable.

Maybe I’ll always grapple with my sense of identity— maybe I won’t— either way, I’m okay with that.