Alive with your Death

I once heard a man say he had died before

And in that moment I believed him

Because he said that once his soul left his body

His entire existence was deleted

He said it faded away like a dream

A departure to whatever was next it seemed

You do see your life flash before your eyes

But it’s your own memory that says goodbye

It got me thinking

I want to die

I always have and I may always will

Especially now that you’re gone

I can’t fathom anything will ever feel real

But if I were to go, and he is in the right

I’d never get to see you again once I was presented the light

At least here I have pictures and blurry past times

At least here I feel your loss

There, I’d have no mind

At least here I would have known you

And that may just be the silver lining

That I’ve been looking for in these days of dread

Getting up every morning wishing it was my time

Because I always believed it would lead me straight back to you

So what’s the point of living in agony if it’s something I don’t have to do

But if there is a chance that I’d forget more than I already have

I guess I’ll stay here.

I’ll stay here with you.

Wishing I were dead